Monica

My name is Monica, and I identify as a community artist based in Hamilton, Ontario.

 

I was diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 59 years old. For the three years prior to my diagnosis, I had been building an arts-based business -- this followed an intense seven-year season of caregiving for my parents, successfully helping them age and die in place, and THAT experience followed a life in editing, writing, and community organizing.

 

The news from my family doctor who had phoned me with biopsy results felt surreal, distant --- news that was disconnected from who I was. Beyond annual physicals or dental check ups, I had grown up with relatively little interaction with the medical system. Needless to say, this changed with my diagnosis!

 

I felt immensely grateful for my sister -- who had had a life in medical research and who herself had faced breast cancer three years before; she immediately told me after I called her, "Cancer isn't a death sentence; it's a chronic disease that can be managed." Her attitude and her own successful treatment helped set the tone for my own journey. I won’t say I wasn’t intimidated, but I did feel that cancer didn’t have to have the last word.

 

What followed was one MASSIVE learning curve -- not only learning about my particular condition (triple negative breast cancer), but also about the treatments being offered to me, about different approaches to cancer in general, and about where I was in all of this. That this diagnosis and these steps happened at a time when I had found myself in a toxic room-mate situation, which I had to terminate, and then — because of reduced income and inability to focus on work — to navigate what eventually became rental arrears and the start of an eviction process from my landlords did NOT help. This whole period I liken to a season of REALLY heavy rain in my life!

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I was fortunate to receive support from sister in the form of accompaniment to appointments (virtually); help with research, language, and navigating the medical system; role modelling; offering her place for me to recover in post-surgery when staying in my own apartment would have meant continued contact with my (then) toxic roommate and from a brother, including rides to appointments; help with errands; support (eg., buying groceries/gifts/items needs; driving me to nurturing places);  - support from friends and family, including helping me through my toxic roommate situation; buying or preparing food/groceries; preparing me (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) for surgery; driving/ accompanying me to appointments; creative help and generous support (including loans) from family and  My friends helped me in navigating financial issues; sending me texts, check ins, prayers, well wishes.  A social worker encouraged me to apply to the breast Cancer Support Fund for support.

 

The variety of support helped me be more mindful of my cancer journey; to stay spiritually engaged.  I felt companionship with women who have "been there" and/or who were in it with me, including women I met along the way in waiting rooms; - accessing videos and books from Louise Hay, Bernie Siegel, and others who recognized and/or used art, visualization, affirmations, reframing as important tools. I had  support from a peerless surgeon, whose excellence eased my dis-ease with surgery, as well as hospital staff who made the different stages of my surgery almost a pleasure; a medical oncologist who truly gave me as much time as he could to process for myself what was important to me, who confronted me when necessary, and who ultimately gave me the space to not pursue one course of treatment that had been put forward for me; a radiation oncologist and resident who humanized part of the process for me, and helped me be willing to take a next step, and a truly supportive, upbeat, can-do radiation therapy team.